Thursday 16 August 2018

Media - loyalty is a bottomless pit

I wrote this piece for CIJ in early 2016 when one of the Utusan editors left after his column questioned the inconsistencies in details related to the RM2.6 billion deposits into the then PM's account. 

Thought it would be a timely reminder given the political situation:

"It is time to remove partisan politics and government ownership from the media. But it is also time for the media community to take the bold step and begin pledging allegiance to the profession and the public."

(The piece was republished by Aliran here).

Sunday 28 January 2018

Poem #13: A subtraction of equals

Well done
with your endorsement
of the icon of human rights and justice that never was
what wonderful perspective you offer us
you say its pragmatism
it allays fears
because what can be wrong with being pragmatic
yet i know its paternalism, feudalism that you give yourself to
the die is cast
but for whom
the parties play the game and they will change the rule to work for them
foe today, a friend tomorrow
promise, broken for you to swallow
what will you do when your beloved hero returns to the fold
majority in parliament?
we are an august house of frogs remember
as long as the money is there
allegiance will always waver
old or not, is only half the question
or maybe only a fraction
no, not part of the equation
i shudder for the trust they place in you
and what you profess to offer
dance you all, to the myth, to the power.

Who's the fool?
the die is cast?
no, you're merely the pawn
in a game you have no control over
how do i reason with this if i should reason at all
the silence is not complimentary
it evokes an uneasiness
of not willing to be complicit
is there a greater ideal to fight for
beyond this parade of
oversimplification, overreaction
without reacting at all
and when you do the mobs shut you out
screaming you gotta! you oughta! how can ya?
you're on the devil's payroll.

But thank you for the perspective
fearmongerers
it worked well before, it may serve you now
the die is cast
but the dice keeps rolling
mock the doubter
turn her into the mutineer
because there can be only blind loyalty
an unquestioning pedigree
an uncompromising species
mock cos you want the flock
not to see
only hear the clock
tik tok tik tok
hurry, hurry the commander shouts
jump with me onto the rocks
and there we must lie
with the waves in our eyes.

(28 January 2018)

Wednesday 31 May 2017

Poem #12: Train of thoughts


I. 

Do the mountains make you laugh?

Does the river remind you of burning wood?

Does the snail make you forget your wallet?

Are the falling leaves interfering with your tax returns?

Does the ocean remind you of groceries you left in the car?


Did the plains make you feel claustrophobic?

Do the borders make you think about your daughter in school?

Will the fruit seller make you wonder when you last saw the dentist?

Does the ticket stub from the bus ride tell you tales of hospital beds?


Do trains make you dream?

Do water lilies make you sing?

Do the rice fields make you cry?

Do the reeds grow so high that you feel alone?

Did the cyclist wish he was in your shoes because the butterfly rested on your arm?

Do warm puddings make you grab a book from the shelf and

Will the ensemble hear what you have to say about the trees?


Do wall posters fill your memories?

Do markets make you miss your birthday?

Did the party make you hold on to your dearest?

Do the summers float like tubes down the falls?

Does camphor smell like holidays?


Do you welcome the dawn?
Do you cherish closed doors?
Do you believe in sugar paper?
And do you collect orange peels?

II. 

I left the apple in the car and stuck a cinnamon into it to sweeten the staleness that resided
within the walls of anger, anxiety, hope and love. 
But what is that scent, that when infused with ginger is a little flirtation over the kitchen counter
that almost feels as if it was reigniting the passion of yesteryears.
I had faith in you of Magyar;
of oldness and being forever and everywhere,  
right beneath this sheet of dreams.
We walked down the paved road
To the turn where the fields end
and the mills rise and
send out the sawdust that
always lands in our eyes
These sandals will give way soon  
and we have much to cover in this short time.

A time of bicycles and buses and butterflies and bumble bees and chasing down the fields and playgrounds
A time of sunrises and storms and rooftops flying and wild gardens and foolish games
When the journey from the front to the back was a novel of twenty chapters.

III.

I am greeted by a whiff of the nutmeg,
in liquids of red and orange
It soothes, it calms,
But there's pain in the air 
and here comes a sense of traipsing through the ages and not really being sure if this body was for this world anymore. 

You exploded into a million bits
and entered
my blood
and his blood
and her blood
until there was no more 
until we couldn't breathe 
because you were becoming our breath.

At times you were choking me,
us
and I wanted to open the doors to let the light in
Tell me if its a day I want to embrace or  if I'll turn my back and long for the night. 

IV.

We've left no memorabilias
No stained paper or cracked
doors of cabinets made of 
teak and covered in lacquer
No trays of mother of pearl
or paintings of village girls
No jewels and no embroidered dresses
Maybe a pot or two in silver
with our names engraved
in case the stranger asks;  
"who did these once belong to?"

I say it belonged to my heart
that was so closed and guarded
And to my mind that wandered in fables, myths, tales and dramas
To my soul that ached and broke
and grew into the vast wheat fields and into the sea of poppies
and into a springtime bloom of marigolds and sunflowers
bursting into colours of yellow and orange and green against the sky of blue.

I see the vastness of the universe running through my veins
I feel it in my nostrils
I am energised
I am alive
I am the hands
I am the summer
I am the hospital beds
I am the bouquet of flowers
I am the ticket and I am the dusty path
I remember
I remember
I remember
You, the jasmine of my life. 

(July 2014 / 29 May 2017)


Saturday 31 December 2016

Poem #11: A Storm That's Passing



The door is closed
The room, so small
You can't breathe
But you hear the rumbling of the winds
Pounding the door
He wants to get in
But you want out
You exchange vows at the doorknob
You turn to the wild
Away from the calm

The walls protect
It's safe behind the doors
But you don't live there anymore
It was once a sanctuary
Now it's a keeper of the past
Of untold stories, of silence

You think the wind will blow you away
You give yourself to it
But in the end, the wind takes no passengers
It leaves a trail of dirt on your face, your body shaken
Wondering, if this is after all where you belong.

(27 February 2015)

Monday 26 December 2016

Poem #10: Songs of an island


Sounds, screeches, screams
shouts, songs, speeches
stories, spell-binding superstitions
soulful sojourns
sewing machines and stained glass
sopranos, soliloquies, stages
stars, streets full of sellers
seers, school children and sarees
sex work, security post, spoilers
stretching out to sea
sinking in the skyscrapers
soaking in the sacred sites
stranded in sin
stoned and stinking
spoilt and superficial
splendid, sickening
stop it, spit it out, swallow
sail away, slide back
sleep. subdued. silence.

(17 October 2015)

Poem #9: Untitled



The unconsciousness of being awake
Like droplets from the sky
At the edge, not yet falling
Like the lure of the sublime
I press it down to ease the pain
Multitudes of layers, I peel them off
Who promised me an oasis of calm
Oh! sweet whisperings
That seduce the edges of my heart
Be still, for I am no longer strong
For what is awakened has no time for sleep
Stoking the desire of the conscious
Who will cremate what I've exhaled
And take me across to the red sun.

(13 December 2016)

Sunday 26 October 2014

Need new binos

Yes, birds again, though it has been a while. Not too proud of the fact that I've been slacking on my practice, but I blame that on having to get new binos, now that I have developed needs for bifocal lenses :-)

So a short trip to Lumut a few days ago meant I regretted not taking my binos even though I knew it would have been a challenge to do birdwatching with the old pair. And given the season and location, it was really a bad decision.

Anyway, the sightings by the beach and on the road included:
1) Common Sandpiper (5)
2) Purple Heron (2)
3) Brahminy kite (6)
4) Blue-tailed bee-eater
4) White-throated kingfisher


For the record.