Need new binos

Yes, birds again, though it has been a while. Not too proud of the fact that I've been slacking on my practice, but I blame that on having to get new binos, now that I have developed needs for bifocal lenses :-)

So a short trip to Lumut a few days ago meant I regretted not taking my binos even though I knew it would have been a challenge to do birdwatching with the old pair. And given the season and location, it was really a bad decision.

Anyway, the sightings by the beach and on the road included:
1) Common Sandpiper (5)
2) Purple Heron (2)
3) Brahminy kite (6)
4) Blue-tailed bee-eater
4) White-throated kingfisher


For the record.

Poem #8: Between the lines

In my grip are sheets of paper
But they really are your hands
I could wrap myself with them
In the words I see your eyes
Reading my dreams back to me
The ink dissolving into an image of us
Every page is your face
Every book your being
I'm holding them and taking the words in
Words, my only companion
While I wait for you, in agony.

(18 July 2014) 

Poem #7: Return to form

I've been in my own form for a while now
Flowing and stopping where I'm caught, trapped, wanted
When that happens, I disappear for some time
I may emerge again but I'm no longer my own form
I've absorbed your mortality, your sins, your pleasures
Then, you discard me
Other times, I'm transformed, I'm frozen, hardened
I don't feel the sensations anymore

You swallow me and I give you pleasure, insatiable
I will continue on my path, I will keep flowing
I have too much to soak, to quench, to shower, to cleanse, to forgive
The longing for me, the brutal rejection of me
You know I can fill you up, give you life, make you complete
But you accuse me of betrayal
When I'm the one who's been betrayed

You munch, you chew, you devour, you rip the flesh off the bones
You dine lavishly, you discard carelessly
I meander through the infested remains, the blind curves
the narrowed arteries, the swollen channels
the gaping wounds, the bloodied fields
I flow endlessly in the minds of many
I am well within their reach
If only they saw me for what I could be for them

Let me serve, let me refresh
Let me be your sanctuary, let me bring you comfort
Pour onto me your desires and your aspirations
Your sadness and all your disappointments
Your hurt and your agony
I will not fail you for I am formless, I am weightless
I am above all, divine

But don't praise me, keep that for your selfish gods
Don't bestow upon me your offerings
Let them rot at your altars
Slip your fingers through mine
I will lift you up gently
We are joined in mind and thought
The essence of our being will flow
Our spirits, they will float
Over the surface of the river.

(13 July 2014)

Poem #6: Welcome to Myland

One broken wheel is all it takes

to rupture an entire life of planning

that so much is left to something else

makes the argument over sanity

seem wasted.

One lunatic running wild is all it takes

to disrupt the semblance of understanding

but maybe so much of that understanding 

was built on nothing more than 

paper planes.

One fighting spirit is all it takes

to ignite the flame of freedom

when so much of it seemed lost

in a wave of tyranny and mediocrity.

In it all I stand aghast, I stand tall

the wheels are in motion, I fight

the lunacy, I free myself

I rise above the clouds 

and look down upon a life 

of uncertainty, insanity, fragility and hypocrisy

that so few care to call out for what they are:

The filth of greed and grime of power

that will only consume its body as soon

as the wheel is broken.

Just one.

Moment.

Person.

Idea.

Careless gesture.

Unthinking speech.

Unfulfilled desire.

I chance upon the midnight highway

lit, but deserted

you see it from above and it goes all the way to the north

but it is soulless

even as it aspires to connect humanity

it is unfriendly, unwelcoming.

It is but one road as its exits are many

people come in and out in daylight

the sun always the bringer of hope

although it deceives too.

It is too warm

It is time to peel the layers of uneasiness

and bare the truth that

is the mad and broken and free. 

27 June 2014

Poem #5: The parts coming together

Certainty is today and uncertainty is also today
Each racing to take control
Of an illusion, an intangible notion
And each rips you apart
When it fuels, nay, misleads the mind
Holding fast to a non-truth
It passes, it returns
It grazes your skin
Telling you of its existence
And yet it doesn't
At least that is certain, today.

I see you, yet I don't see you

I am letting go so I can grasp

Will you be there tomorrow

When yesterday here was nowhere

Will you be a witness

As I undo what I feel

As I unlearn what I know

As I unstart what I began

As I untie the knots of sorrow.

You linger, yet you're not there

I feel and I don't feel you

I love myself and I want myself

Are you me or are you an idea

Seeking a host, a home

I see you and I find myself

Broken and intact

Stepping out into the rain, yet recoiling all the same

Its hollow, this feeling, yet its deep

The sensation exploding into colours and music

And then tomorrow its silent, the sky grey

I long for the pain, the only sure thing.

(3 October 2013)

Poem #4 : Change

For some

Change is what they have left

In their pockets at the end of the day

When they take what is given

And resent in the silence of their apathy

But not for me

Oh no

I breathe it

I live it

I consume it

I tame it

I mould it

I manipulate it

It is the greatest fear, yet it is the greatest strength

I own no pockets

I collect no change

I am it

It is my beginning.

(8 July 2014) 

Poem #3: Night

O Night
I am drunk in your sweetness
I am drowned in your silence
I breathe in the familiar
I hear the distance
But how can a moment of sadness be so comforting
Why, but in the scent of hyacinth
Savored by two
Or the falling of rain
That brings me close to you
O Night
Can you be the start of day
That calls on the sun to light my life
Are you coming closer
Do you envelope me with your darkness
Or do I embrace you with a smile
Because
You must be lonely too.

(19 April 2011) 

Poem #2: Confusion

I'm consumed
By the thought of nothingness
The nothingness of being
Of being without meaning
When meaning meant giving
As if giving brought to life
The life of a dreamer
Dreaming the possibilities
Possibly cast in stars
Starry-eyed but bewildered
Bewildering moments of hesitance
Hesitating the next steps
Stepping into confusion
Confusing clarity with denial
Denying the inevitable
As inevitably it ends
Ending the nothingness
That's consumed me.

(June 2014)

Poem #1: The toad and the lotus

 

There is a photo I want to take

It is by the little pond

In the courtyard

It's a moonlit night

The white lotus has bloomed

It's outer petals bending over

The inner ones neatly huddled

Like a bulb

Soaking in the bright of the moon

And exuding radiance

Next to it

Is a rock

Upon which sits a toad

It faces away from the lotus

As if to say

It's embarrassed to look into

The beauty of the lotus

Tomorrow the petals will wilt

They will fall

There will be no radiance

The stem will be bare for a while

Yet the toad will be there

As always, on the rock

Awaiting the next bloom

Of the white lotus

Is the beauty real

Is the joy real

Is the image real

(April 2014)