Giving up on the system but not the principle

When I was retrenched in January 2002, my colleagues and I protested. Actually, our protests led to our retrenchment to begin with. We cried that it was unjust, and that it was an attempt to victimise union members in the organisation. Long story short: four of us filed for wrongful dismissal, lost at the Industrial Court; then three of us filed for a judicial review because we could see that the decision of the IC had totally sidelined our case and evidence. Unfortunately we lost again. My co-claimant said the judge seemed like he had not even read our lawyer's submission.

We still think we were wronged by the company and hold that it was unfair dismissal. Sigh. We join many thousands of people who feel the courts are there to defend the strong, not the powerless. The thought of going the next step, which in our hearts we know we should do because we are in the right, is daunting and discouraging. Admit defeat now? Is there a winner? What does it mean to the winner? To the loser?

Anyway, in the early days post-retrenchment, when I vented my frustrations to my mother, she would say that had the retrenchment not happened, I would have still been in the organisation and not moved on. (Maybe, there were more retrenchments later in the company, and re-recruitment too) But she was mostly right. The retrenchment led me to CIJ, which for financial reasons led me to the UNDP, where I met Soeren, who supported me in CIJ, which then brought me to SEAPA.

I have read many places about the crossroads, that, no matter what you choose, it will lead you somewhere. Its not the crossroads itself but what you do with the path that is in front of you. But would I have known that by standing on Jalan 51/217 Petaling Jaya holding placards 9 years ago would lead me to being part of a regional network of press freedom advocates on Thoetdamri Road Bangkok? No.

Back to the court case. There were those who dismissed our case from the beginning and told us to “move on”. We have moved on alright, my friends and I. And I am proud for I've done. I did not sit at a mamak stall night in and night out, complaining about my fate. I did what was provided for me by law, exercised my right to seek justice. We lost, but that is a risk one has to take when you want to defend yourself. But I will accept that maybe it is time to end the fight. And in a way, I feel I am in a better position, because on several ocassions in the past, I have had the opportunity to speak out in defence of the company where press freedom was concerned. I found my peace with the organisation a long time ago, it was the principle of justice that I held on to, and will still do.

So this was pretty much my train of thought this evening, walking home from the office, after the rain, after my colleagues had their year end performance review and me listening to Zubir Ali's Harga Diri. Melancholy.